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Who comes first, God or my husband? (**Hint: God, but what does He tell you to do?) I've often told my husband, "God is Number One A. You are Number One B". Most husbands can be very jealous of anyone they think is getting more of their wife's time and attention than they are. This includes God, our heavenly Father, and even your children. Your husband should be first in your life. You should show a servant's attitude toward him just like the one Jesus Christ modeled for us when He washed His disciples feet. Current society would have you believe that your children should come first and your husband should learn to take a back seat, but by keeping your husband "Number One" in your household, you're teaching your children to have respect for authority, showing them that serving is a positive trait, and demonstrating love and caring in your marriage relationship for them to see and emulate when they become husbands and wives. |
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Can I expect my marriage to be a good one? Yes! Absolutely. Whether or not your husband is a believer has little impact on the mechanics of making a good marriage. Christian husbands have just as many annoying habits that drive their Christian wives crazy as any other husbands, and don't you ever doubt it! (Of course, I'm saying this with a smile as I remember how I used to think otherwise.) Where respect and consideration are present, there can be a successful marriage. Where love is present, there can be a happy marriage. The only element the unequally yoked wife will miss out on is a spiritual bond with her husband. I don't mean to belittle this at all. For the believer it is a big deal! But it needn't make your marriage miserable. You can be content in your marriage and have every good benefit of that union while showing your husband Christian love. |
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Should I turn to my husband for advice in spiritual matters? No. The plain and simple truth of the matter is that your husband is an unspiritual man. He does not read the Bible nor believe in it's truth. The Holy Spirit does not guide him. Even if he does read the Bible occasionally, your husband's advice in spiritual matters would be incomplete at best; completely misguided and misleading at worst. Seek out your pastor, a knowledgeable Christian sister or a reputable Bible-based resource book for advice in spiritual matters. I've listed a few of the books that I've found helpful on the "Links and Other Resources" page if you need some suggestions. |
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Should I turn to my husband for advice in non-spiritual matters? Absolutely! Matters like buying a new house or car, changing jobs, whether your children should play soccer or not, who should do what chores around the house, or whether to take a vacation to Hawaii or visit the in-laws over the weekend are all decisions that are part of everyday life and should be shared with your husband. It's true that in the case of big decisions, like financial or job decisions, you'd want to submit them to your Father in heaven through prayer as well, but you should rely on and include your husband's input in these kinds of decisions. They affect him too after all, and are the very things that make up life in a marriage. |
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Just what does the Bible mean when it says a wife is to "submit" to her husband? What it doesn't mean is obey! Whew! Okay, wives everywhere can all breathe a sigh of relief and get down to the reality of what Scripture says. We are told to obey God and children are told to obey their parents. However, the relationship between husbands and wives is not like this. Please re-read Ephesians 5:22-24. Notice that wives are told to submit to their husbands in the same way that the church is to submit to Christ. One way or another, we're submitting to a higher authority, so don't feel as if your life is out of your control. Submission is a positive action! Within it lies the very essence of servanthood. Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary defines submit as: "to yield oneself to the authority or will of another" and "to make available". If the word submission really bothers you, how about the word "defer"? In any case, you are voluntarily giving your husband authority over your life. Submission is an act of giving, and ultimately an act of love. This is not to say that everything your husband may ask you to do is going to be God-pleasing. In that event, you must do what you know God would want you to do regardless of your husband's wishes. (Two examples of situations like this are the husband who asks his wife to watch pornography with him, or who asks her to sign a fraudulent tax return.) |
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How do I tithe in an unequally yoked marriage? This isn't as difficult as it may seem at first. You should not tithe your husband's earnings without his permission. If you hold down a regular job outside of your home, give 10% of your gross earnings to your church. If you are a homemaker (as I am) and do not earn a wage, you can still tithe by giving 10% of your "allowance" or whatever money you receive as gifts. You can also tithe whatever goods you produce just as the ancient Israelites did. Think firstfruits! If you sew, give one out of every ten garments you make. (That's the first garment out of ten that you sew!) If you grow fruits and vegetables in your garden, give 10% of what you produce to your church. There are most certainly needy families attending your church or even your pastor who would welcome these kinds of goods. Ask your pastor how you might carry out tithing in this way. He probably has some excellent ideas too! **Note: Tithing means giving the first 10% of your earnings and goods to the church to support its material needs. Giving 10% of your time does not qualify as tithing. That is service. |
| God has answers for us when we seek His counsel.
Scripture References: Isaiah 58:11, James 1:5 |
